You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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