I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
