He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
