Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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