You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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