Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
