I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
