He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
