i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
