Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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