It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
