he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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