you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
