oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
