just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
