Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
