I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
should my penis look like a turkey
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
