my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
