Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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