i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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