You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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