census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
