i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize