You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
