oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
