I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
