Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
