You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
