Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
