What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think my mom watched the whole time
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
