Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
