Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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