i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
