i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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