I hate your face
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
