Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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