I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
