So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im six kinds of drunk right now
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
be right there i have to get my cape
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize