don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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