look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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