What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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