That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
