Please, let me fuck your mom
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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