I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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