fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
