i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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