Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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