her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
