I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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