At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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