my sisters under your porch take her home
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
