You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
