I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked