After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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