dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
