The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize