He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
