Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
