Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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