That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
