Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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