I just saw a hot homeless man
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
